WHAT TO SAY

It can be difficult to know what to say to the family of the deceased. Begin by offering your condolences. If you feel comfortable, share a fond memory of the deceased, celebrating the joy they brought into the lives of others can be comforting to the family.

Example: “I was so sorry to hear of Mary’s passing. She was always such a wonderful friend to me.”

Avoid comments that minimize the loss, such as “It’s probably for the best, he was suffering too much” or “I’ve been in your shoes myself.” Wait for the family to bring up the cause of death if they wish to discuss it.

WHAT TO WEAR

Dress in dark, subdued, and conservative colors such as black, navy, gray, or brown. Men are encouraged to wear a jacket and tie with dress shoes, while women should wear a dress or suit. Keep jewelry subtle and traditional.

ARRIVING

Arrive on time and enter quietly. If there are no ushers, the first few rows are typically reserved for immediate family and close friends. Others should seat themselves in the middle or toward the rear.

WHEN TO VISIT

Visiting the home of the bereaved immediately after learning of a death is appropriate for family and close friends. This is a very overwhelming time for the family, and offering practical help - childcare, food preparation, receiving visitors, or assisting with funeral preparations - can provide immense comfort.

The funeral home is also a proper place to visit and offer condolences, as the staff is prepared to receive visitors.

FLOWERS

Sending flowers is a thoughtful way to express sympathy. Floral arrangements or plants can be sent to the funeral home for the service or directly to the family’s home. Flowers provide comfort and a lasting tribute to the deceased.

KEEP THE LINE MOVING

Visitations can be emotional, especially when speaking with the family. If there is a line to view the casket or greet the family, be mindful of others waiting. After passing through, stand to the side to continue conversations or allow the family to greet other guests.

MOBILE PHONE USE

Turn off or silence all mobile phones during services. If you must take a call or respond to a message, exit quietly to avoid distractions.

CHILDREN

Children can benefit from attending funerals or memorials, helping them understand loss and say goodbye. Do not force a child to attend, but encourage participation. Prepare them beforehand by explaining what to expect at the service. If a child becomes restless or needs a break, they are welcome to stay or play in our Children’s Room, where they can be comfortable while still being part of the visit.

GIFTS

The family may feel overwhelmed. Practical gifts of food, assistance with household tasks, pet care, or driving children to school are deeply appreciated. Small gifts for children, such as a stuffed animal or a book, are thoughtful and comforting.